I can feel it

Reality is starting to sink in a little bit. After Friday my routine of 4 years comes to a screeching halt.

I still have no regrets but a sadness is starting to come over me very slowly. Yesterday I started taking things home from work. I can't do it all at once because it would be incredibly overwhelming. But I don't want to take everything home with me on Friday because again, too overwhelming. So, bits and pieces are coming home slowly. Hopefully by Friday I will only have a handful of things that I need to leave with.

I keep replaying what it's going to be like when I leave at 5pm on Friday. Half the time I stop myself right before I get to the part where I leave the building for the last time. It's just too weird. I wonder what I will be like. Depressed and crying or guns blazing with the gas pedal to the floor. I'm hoping for a happy medium :)

All in all, this experience so far has really made me stronger. And it's only just begun. I am still convinced that there is something really big I need to do. I feel like in the next few weeks I'll realize what my true calling is. I can feel it. I just have no idea what it is. I keep hoping that when I go to sleep a dream will tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. No such luck. I think I'm trying too hard.

The other day I realized that there are 8 companies in the area that all have a similar "mission" and it's something that I have always felt strongly about so maybe that's it. I keep checking to see if they have a job for me but no luck on that yet. I hate the waiting game!