I hate Facebook

I've been toying with the idea of taking a break from Facebook for a while now.  It's just such a terrible place for an infertile sometimes.  It's flooded with status updates on how well little ones are growing, the adorable things they just did, and pictures, dear lord, the pictures. 

Here's what has happened on my news feed in just the past couple of days:

• an aquaintance from college announced that she is expecting her first child.
• a friend from HS is currently pregnant with #2
• a fellow infertile just found out she is pregnant with #2
• another friend from HS posted the most adorable photo of her son that was born 4 days ago.

Ever since I started the C25k program I've been happily distracted from the thoughts that it's been almost 4 years now and still no baby for us.  Maybe that's why I love run days so much.  It's just the distraction that I need.  I've been happy lately and it's been awesome.

Today that all came crashing down.  I guess #4 up there did me in.  

This pain always comes out of no where like a tidal wave. I have no idea when something is going to bring me to my knees.   Some days I'm strong but others, well it takes some effort.

There are some bright spots to Facebook, though.  There are a few infertility pages where we can all support one another and people post some pretty inspiring things - a quote or a story of hope that helps me to my feet again.  

I'm sure I'll continue logging in and checking in with friends because I think most of the time the good outweighs the bad on there.  It's just so painful sometimes and today, especially, I'm finding it hard to reach out to others to try and help me through this.  Why should I burden others with my pain? I don't want to be the one that sulks all the time.

I'll get through it, I always do.  I can only hope that the weather holds out today so I can take some of this frustration out on the pavement.