waiting

2 posts in 2 days?! It can't be true :)

I need to vent a little bit.  I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound yesterday.  After the appointment I was e-mailing back and forth with my mother about it and she said she hoped all the results come back ok.  I told her not to worry that my bloodwork was always normal.  And I jinxed it.

I got the call, not long after saying that to my mother, that everything was ok except for one thing.  One of my levels was "a little elevated".  I had to go back in this morning for more bloodwork.  To make matters worse, they took blood out of the same vein as yesterday. Ouch.

Anyway, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything right now.  I keep looking at the clock.  I won't hear about results until about 2pm.  Four.more.hours.  I just can't help the negative thoughts from forming.  What if it's still elevated?  What if that means we have to wait even longer to start back up with treatments?  What if it means that something is wrong with my ovaries?

I should be used to waiting, it's all I've seemed to do these past 3 years but unfortunately, it never gets easier.

update:  level is still "slightly elevated".  It makes me feel better to say that rather than "high" because it's only a little above normal.  Anyway, I get to take a pill to help it go down.  As if I'm not going to be taking enough medication soon.  Sigh. 

It's worth it, it will all be worth it.